Thursday, October 7, 2010

when you read too much 40k and eat mcdoubles before bed, you expect this

So there I am, in my dreamscape...and this time not ravishing natalie portman, josie Davis, or that hot jogger from down on the Cul de sac...not today, its war.

I'm surveying the battlefield, I think I was dreaming I was Telion.  This tells me I need to stop playing ultramarines, because even in my dreams, I'm not a commander but a lowly and grumpy scout sgt.

Anyway, so I'm sitting there, looking through my scope(or at least the view is through a scope, as casey can tell you, sometimes teh scope view doesn't require an actual scope, -ref bad b movie) and I'm looking at this battlefield full of scarp and tanks and shit blown all to hell.

This techmarine shows up, addressing an off-screen commander, but since even in my dreams I'm vain, the camera stays on me.

"There is something happening in the field.  Some movement and energy surges have been detected"  The techmarine seemed to say.

"Send Telion, he and his scouts are light infantry, this is their job"  remarked the captain, implying, but not adding "if they die, we can easily replace him, he is a lowly and grumpy scout sgt."

So I set out, everyone had camo cloaks(take that casey), and so we were confident our cover save would protect us from whatever we found.

I think we moved for about 3 turns, not running, or it would have only taken 2, but finally we find the source of the energy signal.  We apparently thought it was a good idea to let one guy fall behind and serve as bait(and it wasn't me), so out of nowhere, the trash and wreckage starts being thrown in the air, at first about 20 meters from the lagging scout, but moving in a straight line towards him.  

He does that thing where you fire madly at the target, but are closer to killing your squad mates than the unknown horror.  I'm guessing his BS was only 3 and since he had a bolter, he probably didn't hit anything(I'm assuming he didn't have a rifle, since he was moving and still fired).  So about a meter from the scout, this thing, like a metal piranha jumps out and just tears into him.  It cuts a hole clear through him and back underground near a pile of armor plating...probably from a rhino and not a drop pod, since they are much more durable.

Well, we lay waste, I lend my BS to the missile launcher guy and after a tense round of shooting, we think we've killed it.

I'm about to report in and try to talk my way into a desk job, when a rumble comes up from the last place we shot.

So this is where the dreams gets weird(obviously this is subjective, the dream is already pretty damn weird).  This thing emerges from the wreckage, it has a head similar to the metal piranha, but it now has a large body built of various vehicle parts and I see the scout's chest plate as its kneecap(man, somebody is also eating mcdoubles before bed. 

So the part of my brain that is not making Telion scream and evacuate his bowels tells me that his is a carnifex...but it's made out of wreckage and broken vehicles and what not. 

Being a qualified leader, and a sgt(I do not remember having a helmet), I order my men to open fire while I move backwards to assess the situation.

This thing tears them up, apparently it has at least toughness six....and scouts suck.  I'm also assuming they were not in coherency with me, because they broke and ran like hormagaunts on turn one.  So they get eaten...and torn up, and I see other metal piranha circling the area....well this won't do, I don't have any more meatshields/wounds and still this angry monster which has sustained no damage.

I'm thinking, I have to slow this down, so I can complete my tactical advance to the rear.  I needed to do it before the assault phase, because even though I probably had initiative, I wasn't going to be able to dent it, it had landraider doors for a chest, I think.

Then I remembered, it's knee was only protected by scout I rapid fired my bolter(which is weird, because I think it's a heavy weapon).  Sure enough, the scout armor did what it does anytime something stronger than a stiff breeze hits it, it exploded.

So this thing apparently failed an initiative test because it fell right over.....and I advanced, tactically, back to the HQ to report.

Of course, by then, the entire outpost was being over-run.  Most of the marines were being used to coordinate a rescue using thunderhawks to remove important imperial personnel.  I figure I'm pretty important, since the camera has stayed on me, so I slip onto one of the ships and fly away.

So as we are soaring away, I look out a window and see hundreds of these metal monster, scrap heap looking tyranids.  They are appearing everywhere, I remember feeling relieved I wasn't there and hoping the commander got eaten so I would not have to be executed later.

Then a large metal construct hit our thunderhawk from above and we started barreling towards the ground.  I started looking at other passengers to see if any of them had chutes or if they had sufficient mass to protect me in an impact.

Then I woke up, :(


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